January 9, 2017
A Memorable Deepavali with Monash University Malaysia
Second Sunday of May is celebrated as Mother’s day.
One day in a year is dedicated for mothers. I have serious objections to this nomination. When the mother`s whole life is spent on her children from birth to giving them a successful and prosperous life. During the whole life, a mother is showering love and kindness to her children. All of a mother `s lifetime is a constant struggle for her children wellbeing and success in life, then Why only one day of a year is dedicated and labeled as a Mother`s day.
“I think 365 days in a year are not enough to pay back what a mother really deserve”
If your mom is alive, celebrate every day as Mother’s day, you will lose this opportunity soon when she will be no more with you.
“ In our life all relations are important but the Mother is the only one unique relation in the sense that it can never be replaced by any other relation. All other relation losses can be compensated
but the mother once lost is lost forever.”
“Mothers Blessings and countless services to you are tremendous. Mother`s Day celebration is like giving
a drop of water back to the sea.”
In this fast, most developed and modern society we are so involved in achieving and gathering material things that we have gone far away from the beauty and tenderness of human relations and feelings. Especially for our parents, the attitude of the modern and developed world is strange. In our business and professional life we say thanks ten times a day to our clients and customers. We salute our bosses, we try our best to please our friends, imagine “what we are doing with our parents”.
Mother is a symbol of unconditioned and endless love, peace, safety, strength and affection for their children.
Choosing a gift on mother`s day is also a big assignment. I have some suggestions. While taking care of old folks,
I have studied the psychology of mothers. I think I can give you the best idea to make your mother happy and pleased.
The gift I propose will be worth millions for her.
“Spare one or two hour time from your busy life. Visit your mother, embrace her for a minute, kiss her head, hold her weak hands and whisper to her, “ I love you mom, please forgive me for not giving you time and attention”.
Your mother heart is so big, she will forgive you for all your previous neglect and will pray for you deep in her heart.
While working with old folks and retired communities almost quarter of a century. I have thousands of real-life stories printed on my heart, showing the greatness of the parents especially the mothers towards their children. These are true stories of love, sacrifice, devotion, dedication and struggle in raring and caring for their children. Years before I was on duty at Emergency Room. A young lady in her thirties and a small boy around 12 were brought by an ambulance after a car accident. The lady was very anxious about her son, walking here and there and requesting the nurses and doctors to act fast and treat her son. The little boy was crying with pain and fear.
The boy had superficial cuts and bruises on the face and head, a small amount of blood was oozing from her cuts. We treated the boy, investigations, stitching, and dressings done, injections given in almost one hour time. After sometime when the boy was pain-free and sleeping in his bed, the mother came to my cabin and complained of pain on her right side of the chest. I examined and immediately advised X-Rays. I was shocked to see the X-Ray reports.
She had three ribs fractured and few deep bruises on the back of her chest. We started her treatment and later on next appointment I asked her a simple question. How you controlled the pain of fractured bones for hours on that accident day.
“I was feeling only the pain of my son that time when he was crying”
A mother can give birth and take care of many children. We have many examples of big families having more than ten children. A mother can rare many children but it is a common practice that many children cannot take care of one mother. In one of my homes, we were celebrating the 90th birthday of a resident lady.
We invited all her family members. She had seven children, four boys, and three girls. All came with their spouses and their grandchildren. The mother was very happy. The family brought many gifts and celebrated
the party. After two hours they started leaving one by one, saying goodnight to the old lady. I noticed she wanted to say something but nobody was willing to sit beside and listen to her. I was the last person to leave when she asked me to stay for a while. I sat beside her. She was unable to speak, hiding her tears. I wanted to change the subject. I showed a small gift pack and said look at this, a nice gift. She turned her face on the other side. She sighed and said. Doctor, you know, I have seven children and many grandchildren,
all have their own houses. I am so unlucky that I am unable to get a bed space in any of my children houses.
I have to live another year to see all of my family on the next birthday. I just pressed her hand; was speechless, I had no words to answer.
We have a mindset that parents will do each and everything for us and this is our born right to claim each and everything from parents. Just imagine the DNA is from our parents, our body flesh, bones and blood from our mother.
After birth almost first twenty years, we are dependent on our parents for almost all the needs of our daily living.
In some cases, even the children are dependent for the whole life on the money and properties of the parents.
In most of the cases, the children need their parental support in their studies, business, marriage and even taking care of the grandchildren. Most of the times we are unable to pay them back. Instead, we pay them stress, depression, loneliness and sometimes financial losses.
The parents are blessings of God. Their role is great. From our birth, survival to successes in life, parents have their roles at all the stages of life. Without parents, mankind cannot survive and flourish. I had opportunity and exposure to thousands of the old folks. I have seen exposed to real-life histories and stories of mothers and fathers. At this moment I feel regret to express that in most advanced and developed societies, children are unable to pay back even a few percents to their parents. They are failed to pay back in terms of time, love, care, affection, money, services, and facilities to their parents.
Many of you will claim that you are very good to your parents. We think that what we are doing for our parents is enough, it is not. We have to understand first what are the needs and requirements of our parents. What they want from us.
Here I tell you what most of the parents want from their children.
They do not need your money or material things. They want to see you happy, healthy and prosperous in life.
They want to see your success, your name, and fame in the society. They want to see your happy family living.
They want to see your children and grandchildren. They spent decades of life for your wellbeing and happiness.
In return to all this, they need a small corner at your house to spend their final days, watching your family growing and prosperous. They need a small portion of food, a small portion of your free time, some level of respect and honor, some good moments of pleasure in the family life. They wanted to talk to you. They wanted to see you smiling. They wanted to play with your children and grandchildren. They want to tell and listen to small stories from grandchildren.
I am really sorry to say that most of the parents are deprived of these small pleasures in their life.
Taking care of old and sick parents is not a burden, it is a blessing of God for you and your family.
Not only Islam, all the religions and beliefs on earth ordered to pay respect and to care for the parents especially when they are old and sick. At the old age, they need your attention more than the earlier days.
Our prophet said that “if your parents are old and sick, you are excused from all other religious duties to look after.
Do take care of them politely and with patience.”
“ Mother care in old age is a ticket to heaven”
Confirmed by Allah and his Prophet.
“No religion on earth accepts and allows any negligence and disrespect to the parents”
All the human beings on earth have a mother. Mother is the one who brought you on earth with all your beauty and innocence. Your survival is at risk if your mother is not there with you to look after.
In your early life, for your physical and emotional needs mother is always there. Mother’s importance starts decreasing when children become young and stronger, educated and successful in their life.
In the early years, children are always chasing their parents for their needs, in old age now the parents have to chase children for their needs and wishes.
A time in mother’s life is there when she is the Centre point of the husband and children love. And a the time comes when the mother becomes a burden and she is treated like an unwanted guest in the house.
Instead of having a peaceful life in old age, many of the mothers have to struggle again for their remaining days of life. They are forced to live away from the homes and the family.
I know a very well educated and rich family, their parents in their eighties. They married almost sixty years, lived together and had five children, two doctors, one teacher and two businessmen. The five children decided to keep the father and mother in their homes on the rotation basis. Father with one son and mother in the separate home with other. I scolded them and asked them to let them stay together and die together. Both parents were very well known to me. A very good couple and good parents. They stayed together almost 60 years after marriage. Now the children never thought about this fact before breaking they are more than a half-century companionship. The children never imagine the pain of loneliness and separation of their parents.
Please do not separate the parents. Let them live and die together in peace.
At this day I also want to salute single mothers. They deserve the rewards twice as compared to a mother.
The single mothers have to work hard to play the role of a father also. To meet the financial needs of the children without the husband is really a hard job. Their contribution and care for the children is a constant and continuous struggle. We must appreciate them and pay tribute twice as compared to a mother.
I share a single mother`s story with you, She was 63 when she was admitted to Noble Care. A very charming, polite and humble lady. She was recently diagnosed with dementia at an early stage. One evening when she was sitting alone beside the fish pond,
watching fish. I greeted her good evening. She looked at me; I felt a pain and sadness in her eyes.
I apologized for disturbing and sat beside. She started telling me about her life.
“ I was very good in studies. After graduation, I applied for a scholarship in Uk and went there for my masters. There I met a handsome guy, we decided and got married. Both I and my husband did our masters and started our jobs. We worked hard for almost 5 years. During this period, I had a son and a daughter. We were a very happy family. For education of my children, we were worried because the fee and expenses were beyond our budget. I was much depressed and tense in that situation. I asked my hubby that we should go back to our country for the education and good future of our children. My husband was reluctant in the beginning and later he told me to go back first with the children and he will come later, he promised. I made arrangements and traveled back to Kuala Lumpur with my sweet kids.
I very happened will not accept new father or new husband may not accept my children. I worked hard, started the part-time business to meet the financial needs of my children. Both my children were brilliant students. I educated them till the highest level. My son became an engineer, and my daughter became a lawyer. My daughter married to a German guy and left the country to stay with her husband. She has three kids. I never met the grandchildren”, she sighed.
My son is working in a multinational oil and gas company, also married with four kids. My son most of the time also busy in overseas. When I see all my past life, I feel that I have been given all my life to my children.
Now I am alone. They have no time for me.
I was listening quietly. I have no comments. I wished for her, maybe this mother’s day, your children and grandchildren manage to visit you. She smiled and said I can’t believe and started feeding fish.
We are developing a wrong way and wrong tracks. People say that things are changed, life is so fast and trends are changed. No, we have the same moral values. We have the same feelings of pain and pleasure. We have lost moral values and buried and buried under modernization and so-called developed society.
Parents should be given due respect and their needs and requirements are addressed in a decent and dignified way.
This is a lesson on this mother’s pleasure. We have lost moral values and buried and buried under modernization and so-called developed society.